wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
