For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
