yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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