we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
