He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
