I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
