So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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