She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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