if i died would you start the facebook group?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
