In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
