my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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