That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
