quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
