We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
