Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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