I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
