So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
