chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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