Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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