Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
