Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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