Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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