Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
