Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
