With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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