Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
