i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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