I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
