fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
