So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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