Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
this hospital has no fireball
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
