Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
