i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I still have a little drunk in my system
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
