i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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