so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
