Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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