HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
