I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
40s are totally the cure
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
