wanna go halves on a baby?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
