I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
