I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
