Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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