How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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