Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my shit smells like andre
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i came on her dog
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
