and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
