Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
