I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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