I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
