I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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