Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
