You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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