dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
