dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
